We’ve had an ant problem. A teeny tiny ant problem. And by that, I mean that we have teeny tiny ants, and they are causing problems. We used to have a treaty, me and the itty bitty ants. But, they have broken the truce and must be dealt with appropriately before things get ugly. We had lived so well together for so long that I’m a little sad that it must end. But, they have trespassed, beyond the borders of the counters back edge and around the kitchen sink. They have traversed the doorframe and entered the sugar bowl. And they no longer leave in a neat little line as soon as I arrive in the morning. They linger. They wander around for a bit, daring me to squish them or swipe at them with a wet sponge. They have become defiant. It’s really too bad, because, as long as they stayed near the sink and disappeared when I came in the room I was fine with them being around. In fact, we had grown, in a way, to think of them as pets.
We made jokes when we left the house for an overnighter, “Who will feed the ants?” or when Stephen would put his empty cereal bowl in the sink at 10 pm, “Hey, don’t wash that. Leave it for the ants.”
It didn’t help the ants that their uprising took place at the same time that we received, not one, but two big fat roaches in one week and found a HUGE spider guarding an egg sack in the boys bathroom. I decided to take action. Kill them, kill them all…
Steve and I were at the store picking up some groceries when I remembered that we had a war to wage at home. Steve went to choose the perfect weapon. He returned with a promising looking brown spray bottle which he tossed in the cart.
“Is that what you want?” He asked.
“Does it kill everything?”
“It should, it’s called ‘Kill Everything’.”
We chuckled. Kill Everything. That’s a lot of power to carry in a spray bottle. I could already see the ants, lying on their backs, tongues hanging out, with little x’s for eyes. The roaches and spiders and millipedes too. I would kill them all, kill everything…..muahahaha!!!!
Well, as it turns out, Kill Everything does not. I think it should be called, Spray Everything, or Stink Up Everything, or perhaps Annoy Everything. All is not lost, however, since the ants did not like being sprayed and annoyed by the stinking liquid every morning. They have issued a retreat, made themselves scarce. I can live with that.