*warning* female overthinking is about to occur

Steve and I are about to get in a fight.   It’s because I cleaned the bathroom really really well (and because I’m just this side of the loony bin).

But, you should see it shine.  

I worked at it today because some guy is coming to replace a broken mirror.  And that, in a nutshell, is the problem.  I have this bad habit of cleaning really well for other people.  Not for people who actually live in or use the facilities in our house, but for strangers, visitors, spectators.  I scrub and organize and hide our messes in drawers and cupboards and behind closed doors.  It’s so bad that if my kids see me with a broom or spray bottle they ask who’s coming over.  I keep these cleaning sprees limited to the rooms and paths that visitors might take.  For example, I only clean down stairs, paying particular attention to the dining room and kitchen, on Thursdays because thats as far as our small group goes.  If a team member is coming over for the first time and will be getting a quick tour, I sweep the stairs and tidy up bedrooms, shoving anything and everything that will fit into the closets and leaning hard against the door.  The super-duper cleans happen when we are about to have a house sitter. This is when I clean and organize the house from top to bottom leaving no corner undusted, unbleached, or unshined.  For two whole days the house will smell like the Hilton, until signs of life take over once again.  
Steve hates this.  Although he has never said he hates this – I know he hates it.  He thinks to himself “Nice that she cleans for everybody but me.  She knows I like a ‘fresh bowl’, but the freakin plumber has to be on his way if it’s gonna get scrubbed.”  He never actually says any of this.  But I know he thinks it.
Today, when the sparkle in the sink catches his eye and the smell of Windex wafts his way, he will be disappointed once again.  It will start him thinking about how I only clean for other people.  It will make him wish that he was married to one of those sitcom wives, or a rich heiress with a maid, or that perhaps, oh yes, he was single.  And because I know he is thinking these things, I will get my feelings hurt, and I will start thinking about all the things I do around here.  All the things that keep me from cleaning on a regular basis.  Things, like…um……you know…..well, I do alotta stuff around here!  Okay, I’m not exactly sure.  It’s never been my strong suit.  Anyway, that’s not the point.  The point is that now my husband thinks I’m a terrible wife.  And he is probably flipping through a rolodex of divorce attorney in his mind.  So now I’m mad.  Fuming.  I mean, after all I do – the laundry, the dishes, folding his socks together like he likes even though it takes me twice as long.  I mean, come on, he’s gonna be mad because I cleaned the bathroom?  Pa-lease!  
The entire fight will occur in my mind.  Steve does not, in fact, care about the frequency with which I clean.  Although he does enjoy a fresh bowl.  I will imagine him being mad at me in his head (which is actually in my head) and it will actually get me down.  Then, he will ask me “What’s wrong?”, and I will say “Nothing.” which will start him thinking about whatever it is that he thinks I think about…. 



  1. Britany on January 23, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    I love it! I am so glad that i am not the only one who has entire conversations/fight in their heads. Does this mean we are more normal than we think or a pair of loons headed for the bin?

  2. Missionaries in La Ceiba, Honduras on January 24, 2009 at 7:15 am

    I love the fight in your head – for some strange odd reason, it just always seems to make sense, that is until you put it down on paper – or on a blog – then reality strikes…yes, we are all a little odd, and our husbands knew that going in 🙂

  3. Kirk on January 26, 2009 at 12:01 am

    Oh Jamie:

    I remember visiting your home and marvelling at how nicely you guys had put it together. If God is willing and our Lakseide on Mission team arrives this summer, how ’bout we take your family out for dinner instead of coming over?

    Then we can all complain about the cleanliness (or not complain and just enjoy our time)of “el bano” and how we wish we were back at your place?

    My wife gets just as “enthused” about our home. Is that what they call being a “nester”?

    In His Grip,


    PS – Please say hi to Steve and boys

  4. Saints And Scholars Both. on February 3, 2009 at 5:38 pm

    This is nothing short of genius. I understand now, every fight, or scuffle, or disgreement I have ever had with any female now makes perfect sense. Its like poker; you cannot simply play your hand, you have to play yours and hers!

    I hope all is well Jamie! Say hi to Steve for me!

  5. Missionaries in La Ceiba, Honduras on February 9, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Hey girl! Thanks for the comments on my blog! You are too sweet! Your blog looks to be a bit behind!! What’s new with you guys?

  6. sundog on January 21, 2010 at 11:15 am

    Hi Jamie…

    I stumbled onto your blog and I'm so glad I did. I went back to the beginning and have been reading all the way through. You make me laugh and cry. I wept through your post on Oct. 9, 2008 'We Live Like Kings'. I love this post because it's like you wrote what goes on in my life and my head. Thank you for your honesty and may God bless your heart to serve him. I will try to leave more comments since I read you plea above.


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