And speaking of Thanksgiving….

…don’t you think we eat a lot of really weird stuff on this one day each year?

Every time I savor a bite of pumpkin pie, I marvel over how it came to pass that a giant vegetable was transformed into a delightful dessert. And then I want to kiss whoever it was that decided that pumpkin pie was so good that they were gonna make their sweet potatoes taste just like it, but with pecans on top – glorious.

And you have to wonder who thought Jell-O salad should be a thing. When did they think “you know what would be good in this gelatinous orange goo? Mini-marshmallows…and walnuts….” Jell-O salad is ALWAYS funky. Always. But it’s always on the Thanksgiving table, too. After my grandma died, my Mom gave me a square crystal bowl with the stipulation that I was now expected to show up for Thanksgiving dinner with the “Golden Glow” salad in that specific bowl. Golden Glow is a Jell-O salad comprised of Lemon Jell-O, crushed pineapple, and shredded carrots. Not even kidding. I think El Chupacabra is the only one that eats it, and he’s not even related by blood. On a side note, a few years ago, somebody asked my Mom if they could please pass “the Golden Shower” (a cause for much snickering to all who understood) and my wonderful, sweet, and very innocent mother has been inadvertently calling it “Golden Shower Salad” ever since…

Also, who decided that it would be awesome to stuff bread cubes up the turkey’s butt? I mean, it is awesome. But who thought of it first. And then somebody else, later I assume, was like “we should put some oysters in the butt stuffing. It’s not just me…that’s weird, right? So is dumping cream of mushroom soup on your green beans. And so is making gravy out of fried guts. It’s just weird.

And wonderful.

I love that when God created us, He made us creative. I guess that’s part of the whole “made in His image” thing. I mean, duh. And the Thanksgiving meal is a literal smorgasbord of generations of creativity that I think must make Him proud. Or maybe frightened. But as a Father to his children, I have to believe that He looks at Jell-O salad the way I look at some of my kids adventurous albeit alarming creations in the kitchen. Like top ramen with canned tuna and creamed corn. Disgusting? Yes. But did it make me smile just because it came from their own minds and hands? You bet.

What’s the “most creative” thing you put on the table this year and why?

For me, it was a feeble recreation of “the Golden Shower”. It was terrible. But we can’t get yellow lemon Jell-O (say that 3 times fast), so I tried to make my own, which mostly turned out right, but kind of didn’t, cause it never got quite firm enough. It had the consistensy of like a thick shampoo with chunks of pineapple and globs of carrots, so basically, I think what I am describing is….lemon flavored vomit. But, truly, it didn’t matter. Nobody really eats it anyway. I put it on the table to honor my Mom, and my Grandma with the square bowl, to tip my hat to creativity, and to say thanks to the God that formed it into us.

Now the question is, can I find a creative solution for the giant glistening bowl of left over “Golden Shower”?



  1. Anonymous on November 28, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    Thanks for honoring your Grandmothers and me….I think.

    ps.Your brother & I like the Golden GLOW.

    Love you,

  2. Kirk on November 28, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    So I'm thinking Jamie is an "all pie-all-the-time-zone"…that's good.

    We don't have a hot tub…but, the there IS a guest bath and I can hook you and El Chupa up with the ice-cold pool 24X7 while you're home.

    Safe travels

  3. kathy on November 29, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    We had our signature "jello salad" on the table this year. You know the one you hate….. =) Raspberry Jello, applesauce, apple chunks, celery, walnuts and melted red hots. As we introduced our new friends to our creation your dislike for it was mentioned and Brandon said he was with you. Jello should either be pure or served with berries in it – that is all.

    We also enjoyed having new friends over, but as much fun that it was I think that it made me miss "the good old times" that much more.

    Love your writing! And I've decided that our jello needs a name.

    …. you are loved

  4. Anonymous on November 29, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    Once again, all the things one would want to say but never does! You're awesome!

  5. Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary on November 30, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Kathy, I vote for " The Raspberry Crap Fest" as a name for your Jell-O salad. …or "The Who-took-a-dump-in-the-Jell-O-Salad? Salad". I'm not sure which I like better….

    Hahaha…just kidding – your Jell-O salad is to date ONE AND ONLY thing I don't like about you!!

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