We fight dirty. And, lately, we’ve been doing a whole lot of fighting.
Sometimes, El Chupacabra and I forget that we’re on the same team. We forget that we have a common enemy, and that if we aren’t united against it, we’ll fall prey to each other because of it.
Our enemy comes in the name of Fear and of Failure. It comes in the name of Inadequacy and Uncertainty and Rejection. It comes in the name of Hypocrisy, Judgement, Impatience, Insecurity, and Adultery. It sits on our shoulder and whispers all kinds of terrible things in our ears. And, foolishly, we listen, we react, we forget who the real enemy is, and we turn on each other. We blame each other, we accuse each other, we hate each other because of the painful things the enemy has told us, not about each other, but about ourselves.
Then we fight dirty.
We are both thick skinned and tender hearted, El Chupacabra and me. We have learned though the years how to get under each others skin and go straight for the heart. We learned this from our enemy, and we learned it very well. We hardly need any prompting anymore. Our words are like guided missiles, we destroy each other with them.
We’ve been fighting dirty. A lot.
This weekend, we spent a night away because we wanted to “get on the same page”. We wanted one day to ourselves, to pray, and talk, and map out our goals for this year. It started off horribly.
I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure missionaries aren’t supposed to say things like “I give up.” or “This is all for nothing.” We’re not supposed to entertain thoughts of “divorce” or “separation”. But, this kind of stuff has found it’s way into our minds and into our conversations on occasion. And the one thing I do know is that it’s not coming from us. Those are the whisperings of our enemy.
This weekend, as we finally sat and talked (like normal human beings and not like hyenas on crack, circling each other, teeth bared, and yapping out insults), it was like we finally remembered that we’re on the same team. Our marriage is a stronghold of God. It’s not impenetrable, but it’s pretty damn well reinforced.
We have been engaged in our enemies battle, like we were both pulling for the wrong team. But on Saturday night, we realigned ourselves, checked our loyalties for the first time in a long time. We reunited ourselves against our common enemy.
And we won. It was a glorious victory.
As far as I’m concerned, the enemy can piss off. Cause, guess what? We’ll fight back….and we fight dirty.