Sorry, you missed it.

I was totally gonna start out by saying that I almost died yesterday, but you know when something horrible happens, like when a plane crashes or something, and someone says, “I took that same flight just three days before,” implying that they almost died, and you respond by saying “Oh my gosh, thank God you’re alive!” but you’re actually thinking “Oh my God, you’re a self-obsessed idiot!” – yeah – I didn’t wanna be that guy so I changed my mind and wrote something totally different and it was all kinds of awesome and you would have 100% LOVED it, but then my stupid freaking ( <--- totally not the word I’m thinking) computer did this thing where it turns the whole screen dark and tells me in english and 30 other languages that it must be shut it down immediately and if I don’t do it the Earth will be hit by an asteroid and I will be personally responsible for the end of the human race. Then it gave me the bird and spit in my eye. Oh, and it erased the funniest and most inspiring blog I have ever written. Ever.

So. Sorry you missed it.

I blame Satan.

and Steve Jobs.



  1. Brook Sarver on March 18, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    Longest. Run-on. Ever.

    Sorry we missed it! Sounds hilariously dangerous!

    Oh, and we're glad you're using a Mac.

  2. Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary on March 18, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    Haha! I know, right? I almost made this entire post in one sentence. Someday, I will totally do that!

  3. Faithful Mali on March 18, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Omgeorge! I thoroughly enjoy your blog. Thanks for the laughs today!

  4. Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary on March 18, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    Faithful Mali – You would really be thanking me had I not lost this mornings actual blog!! and "Omgeorge" is cute!

  5. Carrie on March 18, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Yeah? Well, I wrote a really clever comment an hour ago and my computer ate it. For realz.

    Now it's not so funny…


  6. tamaraoutloud on March 18, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    That really "freaking" sucks.

  7. Caroline on March 18, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    Ok. So, I lived it with you, but really want to know what you had to say anyway!

  8. tracey on March 18, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    Bummer! and I was totally going to take that flight! scary right?

  9. Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary on March 18, 2010 at 8:35 pm

    Wow, Tracey, thank God you're alive! 😉

  10. John on March 18, 2010 at 10:25 pm

    Been reading a little over here…funny stuff, like hernia funny…read the pube post and almost choked on a Ritz cracker…I mean I almost died (rubs his beard)…

  11. Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary on March 19, 2010 at 8:12 am

    Thanks for reading John. Sounds like you had a close call with that Ritz cracker…Thank God you're alive! Oh, and you got some crumbs… right there…in your "beard" hairs.


  12. Jonathan on March 20, 2010 at 11:48 am

    As I write, I hit Cmd-S all along the way, for just such occasions.

  13. Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary on March 21, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    Dude. For real? That's all I have to do? I'm totally Mac-tarded.

  14. Carrie on March 22, 2010 at 6:55 am

    Girl, I read a blog post last night and thought of you, because I figure you have a similar sense of humor. Seriously, check this out—

  15. Theo V on March 23, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    finally! an honest Mac user!

  16. Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary on March 24, 2010 at 8:57 pm

    Carrie – thanks for the link! I LOVE it!

    Haha, Theo! We have a Mac and a PC. I use the Mac… because I'm dumb. Most mac users don't realize that macs aren't for cool people, they're for dumb people. it's sad, really.

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