The 16 Most Amazing Things About You.

…No, not you. YOU, El Chupacabra!

1. You are the smartest human I know. Ok, but that’s not the thing. The thing is that you don’t need for people to know how smart you are. And we’ve known a lot of douchebaggy people that think they’re smart and want everyone to know how smart they are and mostly I just feel embarrassed for them, in part, because you’ve let them treat you like you’re a big, dumb, jock/cop/construction worker without telling them that you were invited to join Mensa in high school, or that you were an Academic Decathlon geek, or that you were, like, the only athlete living in the Freshman honors dorm in college, or that you studied Math and Engineering while also playing football with a wife and baby at home. And then, when you bust out with some super nerd jargon, or when you whomp ass in a game of RISK, or whatever, everybody acts all surprised and you’re just like, “What…?”

2. You smell AMAZING. And I know if I said that out loud you’d say “Thank you, I just farted.” Which is a super lame joke but still makes me chuckle. But really…amazing

3. A loooong time ago you took me across the California state line into Nevada, and we’ve been crossing all kinds of lines, borders, and boundaries together ever since. And I never would have had the guts to do any of it without you. And now we’re missionaries and everything and in some ways I totally owe that to you. (I know that sometimes I say that as if I’m blaming you for something really awful, but usually I mean it like I’m thanking you for something really great.)

4. You’re cool. No… for real.

5. You’ve gotten really good at apologizing when you’re wrong. And not freaking out when I should be apologizing when I’m wrong but I don’t because I’m still trying to get as good at it as you.

6. In the past 3 years I’ve said to you again and again, “But… you don’t know how to do that.”…”You don’t know how to weld.”, “You don’t know how to build furniture, from like, trees.”, “You don’t know how to surf.”, “You don’t know how to speak Spanish.”, “You don’t know how to coach a football team.” And then you’ve gone and done all those things, plus a million more. And I love that you’re not intimidated by anything, ever….

7. But even more I love that you’ve taught me how to be a learner. And you’ve encouraged me again and again, by saying “You can learn to do that.”…. “You can learn how to make flan.”, “You can learn to speak Spanish.”, “You can learn how to write a blog.” “Maybe you can learn to use punctuation properly.”

8. You make chinese fried rice, and it is awesome.

9. You tell me I’m pretty when I look like Oscar the Grouch took a steamy dump on my head. And I know I act like I’m all mad, but really? I love that you love me best when I’m a hot mess.

10. We like most of the same TV. That’s a pretty big deal relationshipnally.

11. You don’t care that I make up new words all the time and use them as if no one notices. And you didn’t correct me for 15 years while I said “For all intensive purposes.” Which might annoy some people, but to me just says that you know what matters and you don’t get bent out of shape about what doesn’t.

12. You can laugh at yourself.

13. You can laugh at me.

14. We can laugh at us together.

15. The other night when you were outside at 11pm killing massive amounts of cockroaches with cancer causing poison, I was struck, once again, by how you are always willing to take on the biggest, dirtiest, worst jobs…. and maybe that’s how you ended up with me 16 years ago. And I thanked God for you.

16. Um. That thing I said yesterday? About the way you took off your shirt…. Yeah, you still do that, and it still makes me bite my bottom lip. 😉

Happy 16th Anniversary. Here’s to another…however-many-you-can-take. Cheers!



  1. thehecticeclecticgirl on May 28, 2010 at 8:25 am

    Happy Anniversary, y'all.

  2. sundog on May 28, 2010 at 8:55 am

    Happy Anniversary… and congratulations… on your marriage and your tribute!

  3. thenelsens on May 28, 2010 at 9:57 am

    That's so sweet! Happy anniversary!

  4. Jeff on May 28, 2010 at 10:42 am

    Wow, you should write for Hallmark. And that shirt thing….yeesss!!!

  5. Elisa on May 28, 2010 at 10:52 am

    however many you can take. LOL. Awwww….well done, Jamie. Congrats to you and Steve!

  6. knighton on May 28, 2010 at 10:52 am

    Happy Anniversary!

    (And I'm totally stealing the list making idea for my 10th this November.)

  7. deemus on May 28, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Now that was from the heart. And if there is one thing a guy wants, its something from the heart.

    Nice job of avoiding the fluff. Happy 16th!

  8. Anonymous on May 28, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    Ok, so Happy Anniversary and all that jazz.. =)

    I just started reading your blog and, um… Thank you.

    You have singlehandedly renewed my faith and given me the push to wear my Christianity with pride. I cuss sometimes, I sin a lot, (sometimes GASP even knowingly and without care), I don't follow all of the "rules" and I certainly don't fit in the mold. But Christian I am, and Jesus I love – and thanks to you I'm PROUD and Happy to embrace it again.

  9. Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary on May 28, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Wow, Anonymous, that is aweome!! You just made this whole blog worth writing!! For real.

  10. Carrien on May 28, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    Nice. You did it!

    Happy Anniversary. 🙂

  11. Betsy on May 28, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Way to go! 16!! And, I agree with Annonymous… and I'm a pastor's wife! Perhaps the very worst pastor's wife… 🙂 So grateful for your blog, and happy anniversary!!

  12. Brian on May 28, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    I have friends that work for Hallmark. I'm pretty sure I could get you an interview. They'd be the best cards ever and I'd totally pay $5.99 for them.

  13. Aydan on May 28, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    Happy anniversary!!!

  14. Mommypotamus on May 28, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    LOVED #'s 1,5,10 and 11. Happy anniversary!

  15. Pam on May 29, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  16. Pam on May 29, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    Oooooh, that's so SWEET, Jamie! I totally have tears in my eyes. Congratulations on your anniversary! I think it is a great idea to make lists of what we LOVE about our spouses… it's often too easy to list the bad stuff. Listing the good stuff might be my new annual ritual…

    Love to you both,

    ~ Pam

  17. neona on May 29, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    Best. List. Ever.

  18. stephanieee on May 31, 2010 at 10:44 pm

    This is great!! I loved all of these. Sounds like what true love is supposed to be like. Hope I can find someone that can appreciate my made-up words and look great with their shirt off someday! 🙂 Congrats to you two!

  19. Andrew on June 2, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    Beautiful post. And…"for all intensive purposes"…I LOL-ed. Seriously, I think that is better than the "correct" version.

  20. Zac on June 8, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    Well I am super late with this, but I just wanted to wish you guys a happy belated anniversary.

    P.S. Just clicked your donation button for some extra love 🙂

  21. Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary on June 8, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    Hey Zac, I was wondering where you've been? The VWM isn't the same without you. 🙂

    And – WOW!! Thank you!!!! We're so thankful and SO VERY GRATEFUL for your gift!!! Seriously, I cannot thank you enough!! 🙂

  22. Theo V. on June 8, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    dang… I was just about to post a similar list about Mr. Chupacabra on my blog! Scooped again!


  23. Alex Green on June 10, 2010 at 11:11 pm

    That was F—- effing awesome!!! And hott (with two t's) and I'm so glad to witness it!

    I just… I can't say. That was just perfection. The whole heart-on-sleeve thing is really just perpetuating good amongst the Jesus lovers. Thanks.

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