This morning I woke up with a plan.
I had organized all the minutes of my day into little lists of things to do depending on what part of town I was in, and also, whether or not I was in my pajamas. I had to get dressed to drop my oldest off at school, which is all the way across town, so I was gonna hit the bank out there. Then, on the way home, I’d swing by the store (the one I like to buy milk and meat at because it doesn’t have the stink of week-old road kill) and then I could go to the other store where I buy cereal and stuff. And since the bakery is right next to the store where I buy all the other junk, and since I was dressed, I could pop in and buy a loaf of bread to go with dinner.
Then I was gonna go home and put my pajamas back on. What?! I like to be comfy…. Plus? Then I can run around and clean house, work out, drop food on myself, be sweaty, and dog-wrestle without a care. I’m pretty sure El Chupacabra hates it when he gets home from work and I’m still in my pajamas. He doesn’t say he hates it, but he gets this sad little look on his face like “Great. Next thing I know she’ll be a 680 pound invalid, asking me to bring her buckets of fried chicken in bed.”…So when I was done with all of the day’s dirty business, I was planning on getting dressed again.
That was the plan. But then it rained a bunch, and Costa Rica declared a state of emergency, and all the schools closed.
So I was on the other side of the valley picking up one kid, right after driving the hour commute to drop him off, and the chauffer that drives my younger boys to school called and said, “Hey Lady, I’m here at your house to drop your kids off, but you’re not here….sooo can I just leave em’ here, outside?” And I was all “Ok.”, but really I was kicking myself for not speaking Spanish well enough to say “Are you kidding me?! You can’t just leave kids on the street. Especially not super cute ones, like mine! They’ll be stolen and sold on the black market. Duh!” So, he left my kids on the street and I had to call El Chupacabra and tell him that he had taken the bus into the city to pick them up for nothing because the chauffer already left them at home, alone.
Basically it was chaos. Pure chaos. Like, who is where? and where are they now? and how the hell do we all get where we’re supposed to be when the whole freakin’ country is in this weird state of emergency thingy and everyone is doing u-turns in the middle of the highway? kind of chaos.
As I was weaving through traffic like a ninja on crack because I had to get to my babies before the imaginary kidnappers did, I thought, “Man. I had this awesome plan, and now it’s all turned to crap.” But I have to admit, it probably would have turned to crap anyway. Even without the flooding and landslides and rivers of murky water gushing up from the manholes and sewer grates.
I start every day with a plan….
Then the plan crumbles to chaos under the pressure of my own jumbled heart. It gets twisted because good intentions are no match for selfishness, and because love doesn’t cover over a multitude of laziness. Though it’s not all bad. Sometimes my solid plans give way to the tenderness of cuddling on the couch, to hot cocoa conversations, to singing off key and doing the robot in the kitchen, until chaos wins again and we all fall to the ground, laughing. And instead of cooking dinner I sit there, on the kitchen floor, in a circle with my boys, our feet in the middle and our hearts on our sleeves.
Plans are good. Honestly, most of my plans are freaking awesome. But ultimately they are so unbelievably unimportant. Because God’s presence in the world has nothing to do with whether or not I get my ‘to-do’ list checked off by 5p.m. His plans are in no way dependant upon mine. That is such a great relief to me.
Especially since I am still in my pajamas…
**Speaking of plans. Tonight I’m planning on taking a bunch of teenage girls rollerskating. In other words: Tonight I’m planning on falling and breaking a hip. Prayers are appreciated!**
How many years has it been since you roller-skated? How many decades??