Blog.

Last Days in the Desert

A long time ago, in a desert far, far away, I found myself standing in a half-circle with a handful of professional Christians on a film set in the middle of effing nowhere. I was invited there, along with a pile of smart people, for a sneak peek at a little indie art house production,…

Missionaries probably shouldn’t be jealous of a strippers. But sometimes they are.

I’m really looking forward to speaking the Love Made Claim annual fundraiser this Saturday, in Denver, CO. If you’re in the area, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME! (ticket info here) Anyway, I was sitting here preparing my talk, when I remembered this old post from back in the day, so I thought I’d throw it out there again, for old times sake. I…

How Going on Vacation Might be Better than Going on a Mission.

The other day someone asked if we have any big plans for this summer, and El Chupacabra and I looked at each other and smiled because we do have big plans for this summer. We have really big plans… WE’RE TAKING OUR FAMILY TO AFRICA! WHAT?! I KNOW!!!  I CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! SQUEEEEE!!!!!!!! When we…

You Can Never Have Too Much Sofa

We bought our little house in California one million years ago, in 1997. And it’s a good thing, too, because that was the last year our oldest child was our only child, and it was also the last year we could ever have afforded to buy a little house in California. It’s a typical, boring,…

You can’t give what you don’t have.

The first time I flew on an airplane, I watched the safety demonstration like my life depended on it. As instructed, I checked that my seatbelt was properly secured, identified the nearest emergency exits, learned how to inflate the life-vest, and noted that my seat cushion doubled as a flotation device. I was keenly interested…

Jesus, save Christmas.

I promised myself I wasn’t going to be a total grinchhole about Christmas this year. I also promised I’d have the tree up before December 10th, get all the shopping done and gifts wrapped early, give beautiful plates of homemade goodies to all of my friends and neighbors, and not eat my weight in fudge.…

When we are all Priests and Levites.

On Friday, the world fell to its knees in sorrow as the media brought us the horrible aftermath of a coordinated, multi-site, terrorist attack on Paris. The outpouring of love and support was swift as status updates declared our collective heartbreak, Instagram became a sea of candle lit prayer and Eiffel tower peace signs, and…

Before you get that tattoo…

On my 40th birthday, I went totally crazy and got drunk and blacked out and woke up with a huge tattoo. RELAX. I’M JUST MESSING WITH YOU. I mean, I did get a tattoo on my birthday – but it wasn’t a surprise and I wasn’t drunk. …Unless you can get drunk on the Cracker…

I’m doing WHAT with WHO?!

As I write this, I’m sitting on a plane headed to Seattle, where I’ll catch another plane to Amsterdam, where I’ll catch another plane to Rwanda, where I’ll catch one last flight which will, mercifully, bring me to my final destination. Assuming none of these planes explodes in a fireball or crashes into the sea,…

Divorce, Death, and Resurrection

…I’m getting divorced. So, there it is. Now you know. It has taken me awhile to figure out how to share this very personal news with you. In fact, I’ve already been separated for nearly a year, and I’ve debated not saying anything at all, just letting the fact that I was married for decades…

My Grandma Was An Artist

Growing up, few things made me feel cooler than telling people, “My Grandma is an artist.” Her framed paintings still hang on the walls of my childhood home like windows that only open onto stormy seas and quiet pastures, telling stories of tall ships and old barns, and of meadows, and deserts, and ponds, and all…

Censoring the Very Worst Missionary: A How To Guide

Several concerned citizens have come forward to lament the use of…uh…let’s just say the coarse language in my book, The Very Worst Missionary: A Memoir or Whatever.  Not because they have any kind of personal objection to my willingness to use all the words available. Nope, they’re upset because they feel I have an important message to share about…

Getting from Pen to Published

YOU GUYS… After eight years of blogging (and a solid couple years of book writing), last week I watched in utter disbelief as my profanity-laced, progressive-Christian, anti-establishment, niche-as-fuck, spiritual memoir became a #1 Best Seller in Christian Theology and spiked at #65 out of all the books on Amazon. ALL THE BOOKS! Naturally, when The…

I Blame You

I never meant to be a writer. In fact, I became a writer quite unexpectedly in my thirties, and for a long time I couldn’t even say it out loud. It just felt so icky and self-important to have a job title that implies you have something significant to say and that somebody out there…

The Church of All Cynics

As I have traveled all over the world, I’ve met pastors, elders, administrators, missionaries, professors, students, and everyone in between, who are dying to spill their guts in frustration over their churches or The Church, or both. Usually both. They suspect their churches may have grown over programmed and under challenged. They’re annoyed with the music,…

Hello again.

Hi. So showing up here after more than a year feels a little like walking over dead grass in summer and wondering if it will come back to life when the dry season is over. Was the death of this blog just a seasonal quieting down? I guess we’re about to find out. I never…