Blog.

Quiet Weekend

We’ve enjoyed a quiet weekend at home.  Really quiet.  I’m talkin’ 11 hours of TV, a board game, and 2/3rd’s of a novel kinda quiet.  As completely lame as that may seem – I liked it.  We all liked it. It wasn’t that long ago that the notion of spending an entire weekend at home doing…

Suzie Freaking Homemaker

Costa Rica is making me a better cook.  I sorta liked to cook before we came, but the limited choices and outlandish prices here have forced me to turn it up a notch in the kitchen.  Haha, get it? Okay, anyway, It also seems that without a ready supply of cheap eats (there are evenings…

Hopefully pessimistic

So, CNN tells me that NASA is “cautiously optimistic” that Hubble repairs will work and that black voters are “cautiously optimistic” looking toward the election.  And, did you know that Capcom Inc., Australian retailers, the book industry, and the international coal market are all “cautiously optimistic” about future sales?  Cautiously Optimistic…..what the…. does that mean anything!?!?…

Everybody laughs in English

I think one of the hardest things we’ve had to endure in our time here is loneliness.  I know, I know…you were hoping I was going to say something more dramatic like Dengue Fever, or giant tarantulas, or maybe spear-chucking natives.  Sorry, loneliness wins.  Maybe if I lived a more death defying life my loneliness…

Old wives and their tails…er…tales.

The first time I went grocery shopping here I was surprised to find the eggs neatly stacked on shelves in an ordinary isle in the store. Completely unrefrigerated and almost naked without their tidy styrofoam cartons keeping them ordered by twelves.  I had never seen eggs in sets of fifteen before, but that was unimportant.…

Raising Nerd Kids

It was an issue we had to address before we left the states. We looked at it from every angle. But all we could see was high-water pants, bowl hair cuts, and a serious lack of social skills. Yeah, we’re talking about missionary kids. We had to admit that we were sincerely jeopardizing our kids…

Bummer.

I was going to go work with the chicitillos in Las Cuadras this morning. So I got my kiddos off to school – Stephen leaves at 6:15 and the bus picks up Dyl and J at 7:05 – and then I raced about trying to get ready and out the door on time. I know…

Note to self: Learn Spanish.

So I went to meet a Spanish tutor this morning. We reviewed irregular conjugations for preterito perfecto. It was painful. But, she did teach me some bad words in Spanish which I’m sure I’ll find useful. And, her command of English swear words was….well…..wow. Let me just say, I’ve never known anyone that could fit…

The End of the VWM

I’ve been thinking about this space for a long time, wondering what to do with it now that everything has changed so much. This little corner of the internet was built around a life I no longer live; a career I no longer have, a marriage I’m no longer in, and a family that looks…

Grateful

I’ve shared my heartbreak on social media, but I realize I haven’t posted anything on the blog in quite a long time, so for those of you who only hear from me when a new blog post pops up in your inbox, this may be the first time you’re hearing the terrible news that my…

I’m doing WHAT with WHO?!

As I write this, I’m sitting on a plane headed to Seattle, where I’ll catch another plane to Amsterdam, where I’ll catch another plane to Rwanda, where I’ll catch one last flight which will, mercifully, bring me to my final destination. Assuming none of these planes explodes in a fireball or crashes into the sea,…

Divorce, Death, and Resurrection

…I’m getting divorced. So, there it is. Now you know. It has taken me awhile to figure out how to share this very personal news with you. In fact, I’ve already been separated for nearly a year, and I’ve debated not saying anything at all, just letting the fact that I was married for decades…

My Grandma Was An Artist

Growing up, few things made me feel cooler than telling people, “My Grandma is an artist.” Her framed paintings still hang on the walls of my childhood home like windows that only open onto stormy seas and quiet pastures, telling stories of tall ships and old barns, and of meadows, and deserts, and ponds, and all…

Censoring the Very Worst Missionary: A How To Guide

Several concerned citizens have come forward to lament the use of…uh…let’s just say the coarse language in my book, The Very Worst Missionary: A Memoir or Whatever.  Not because they have any kind of personal objection to my willingness to use all the words available. Nope, they’re upset because they feel I have an important message to share about…

Getting from Pen to Published

YOU GUYS… After eight years of blogging (and a solid couple years of book writing), last week I watched in utter disbelief as my profanity-laced, progressive-Christian, anti-establishment, niche-as-fuck, spiritual memoir became a #1 Best Seller in Christian Theology and spiked at #65 out of all the books on Amazon. ALL THE BOOKS! Naturally, when The…

I Blame You

I never meant to be a writer. In fact, I became a writer quite unexpectedly in my thirties, and for a long time I couldn’t even say it out loud. It just felt so icky and self-important to have a job title that implies you have something significant to say and that somebody out there…